


reverie

by stepanova



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Gen, My First Work in This Fandom, Some angst, i hate eteri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-05 03:07:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16802410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stepanova/pseuds/stepanova
Summary: alena kostornaia had accepted that she would always get second until she didn't. a short drabble of sorts, dipping into possible thoughts.





	reverie

She didn't smile at first when she got her score because she knew it wouldn't be enough. Sure, she had a lead after the short program, but what was the use of that when she could never win the free skate? Last year she had, but not by much, and it was never enough. So she had learned to accept it. Second place was fine if she would never get first. It was the best alternative option. Right?

She remembered last year's Worlds, she never even had a chance. It was all about Sasha Trusova and her quads, and Alena wasn't bitter, no, she had just accepted that she would always be seen as the second best. She hated it, but she didn't resent the other girl in any way. The two were friends, and Alena wasn't jealous. She knew she didn't have quads and she wouldn't win, but that was fine. Yes, her score was close to Sasha's best, but Sasha would get a new best today, so Alena nodded ever so slightly, but then she saw the score again and couldn't help but smile. A 141.66! That was her best by so much, so so much! She deserved to be happy for a few moments before her eventual drop to second.

She watched and she waited for that inevitable feeling of loss, and that gut feeling of knowing that she had lost while watching Sasha's free skate, but it never came. Instead, it was feeling sorry. Because Alena knew that the only way for her to win was if Sasha fell. And fall, Sasha did. It hurt Alena on the inside, but that glimmer of hope shone through. She could win. She could WIN.

Alena Kostornaia had only known small competition wins, competitions without Sasha Trusova, small Grand Prix events that were mere qualifiers. They mattered in the long run, yes, but they didn't feel real. She assumed they would be much more exciting and intense once she moved up to seniors, but she had gone in knowing she was on top and assuming she would stay on top, which she did. And Alena felt horrible for feeling that.

She sat in the kiss-and-cry, waiting anxiously for the scores, smiling and waving at the camera once it pointed her way, but inside she was nothing but terrified. This could be it. This would make or break her. She would either win or she wouldn't, because the other Alena, Alena Kanysheva, was next, and she would need almost 150 points to win, and the other girl didn't have the elements that would make it possible to do that. None of these girls did, except Sasha, and everyone knew Sasha wasn't going to get 150 today.

And then the scores were announced. 140.77, second in the free, second overall. And Alena's heart soared, and she was truly giddy for a long moment, until she realized. This would not be good, she wasn't supposed to defy the expectations. But that didn't matter now. Alena had _won._ Who would have thought? She was in a bubble until the victory ceremony, when she and Sasha discussed what had happened, and Alena offered her condolences to the other girl who had never known second place. She had never known it like Alena.

After the medal ceremony, as she was exiting, Alena's thoughts were no longer happy and pure like before. She wasn't in a dream anymore, she wasn't in a reverie. She wished she could be. She wished she could live in her victory, but there was no time for that. There was no time for celebration. Back to work as soon as all the Vancouver shenanigans were over. But Alena could celebrate with herself for a few minutes, Eteri would never know.

She smiled slightly to herself, clinging onto the last feeling of victory and then let it go reluctantly and resumed her stoic expression, realizing the real circumstances.

Yes, Alena had won, but at what cost?

**Author's Note:**

> so uhh yeah! this is a short bb drabble, i love alena kostornaia with all my heart


End file.
